Throughout the 6-months period of constant tasykeel being put on me urging me to spend my time for three days in the path of Allah on dakwah and tabligh mission, I had to withstand several phases of trials.
Initially I was unenthusiastic and averse to the idea of changing my appearance and lifestyles. More often than not I was fighting with my inner self. I was pleased and delighted with the way that I looked, the fashion that I wore, the manner of my characters, the system that I followed, the scheme that I planned, plot that I designed, and the measure of my lifestyle. I then asked myself, why should I bother to change them and be incline towards the appearance and lifestyle of these 'tablighis'? I thought everything seemed perfect and in order with the way they were.
All those hysterical thoughts were constantly in my turbulent mind when the fact is that not even once I was told by anyone to change the way that I looked, the fashion that I wore, the manner of my characters, the system that I followed, the scheme that I planned, plot that I designed, and the measure of my lifestyle. The truth is that I had known nothing about Sunnah of Rasulullah sallalaahu alayhi wassalam, let alone loving the Sunnah. The reality is I let myself to indulge in those crappy thoughts, formulating reasons not to give my time to go out in the path of Allah.
The love for music and movies had been one of the contributory cause of a dilemma within myself not to immediately embrace the effort of dakwah and tabligh. I loved movies and musics. Yes, it was then a big deal to me. I thought what would I do with all those precious collection of hundreds of CDs and movies? No - I was not willing to part with the grungy songs of Nirvana, the trashy sound of Metallica and the rocking voice of Bon Jovi. But the silly thought really came as lame reasons for me not to join the noble and divine effort to strengthen my own imaan against shaytaan and my own evil desires. To some extent I still watch movies and listen to music. But I am now also aware of their evil nature. The pious and learned men say that music is the gate of munafeeq (hypocrisy). What more to say about films and movies that combine a cocktail of evils to sight, hearing and corrupting the mind. What we see, hear, say and think will definitely affect our heart - just like contaminated streams polluting a lake, so does music and movies affect a Muslim's heart. May Allah grant us all strength to totally be free from those evils.
Looking back at my younger self, I understand better the story of a skin tanner who had been all the time involved with the tanning of animal skins and had become used to the bad smell of the skins. He had been used to living in a bad smelling environment and bad smells had become second nature to him. In the meantime, the fragrant scents of perfume shops had made him sick. Really, those who become perplexed and agitated at the sweet-smell of Allah's and His Rasul sallalaahu alayhi wassalam's obedience and those who are not inclined to a life of following the Sunnah, should be considered as having the same sickness as the tanner. In our dirty way of life and the dirty environment of sinful living, we spent a whole lifetime, so that our hearts and brains become familiar with those things and are inclined towards them.
The treatment of getting us to change that life is to slowly, step by step, to get us out of that environment of sin and to make us wander around the fragrant gardens. We should be brought to the gatherings of the pious and saintly ones and into their company. After frequenting these places for several days, we will realise, "In what dirty environment were we?" Then thinking about the life of the past, perhaps we would cry and sigh and will be very grateful for the company of the righteous ones. Gradually our noses will become used to the fragrant scents (i.e. in the love and service of Allah).
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